A breakup is a difficult experience, regardless of gender. However, men often deal with it differently than women, which is due to social and cultural conditions.
Stages of grief after a breakup
As in the case of the loss of a loved one, after a breakup we go through several stages of grief:
- Shock and Denial: It’s hard to believe that the relationship is over. There is a sense of unreality and hope that it is only temporary.
- Anger: It can be directed at your ex-partner, as well as at yourself, or even at the whole world.
- Bargaining: Attempts to regain control and negotiate the terms of the separation. Thoughts appear “if only…”, “what would happen if…”.
- Depression: Sadness, grief, a sense of hopelessness and loss of meaning dominate.
- Acceptance: Realizing and accepting that the relationship is over. There is a readiness to build a new life.
It is important to allow yourself to experience each of these stages. There is no point in accelerating the wound healing process.
Typical traps that a man falls into after a breakup
- Suppression of emotions: Men are often taught not to show weakness. As a result, they suppress emotions, which leads to problems in the future.
- Insulation: Withdrawing into oneself and avoiding contact with others deepen the feeling of loneliness.
- Alcohol and drugs: Turning to stimulants as a way to cope with pain is a short-sighted and destructive strategy.
- Quickly entering into new relationships: An attempt to “heal” the wounds with a new relationship rarely brings the expected results.
- Idealizing the past: Focusing on the positive aspects of a relationship ends up making it impossible to come to terms with reality.
How to help yourself?
- Allow yourself to be sad: Don’t run away from emotions. Cry if you need it. Talk to people you trust about your feelings.
- Take care of yourself: A healthy diet, regular sleep and physical activity will help you regain balance.
- Find a new hobby: Focusing on new interests will allow you to take your mind off the breakup and meet new people.
- Give yourself time: Emotional wounds take time to heal. Take your time and don’t expect quick results.
- Seek Support: Talking to a friend, family member, or therapist can be very helpful.
Return to life after a breakup
A breakup is the end of a certain stage, but at the same time the beginning of a new one. It is a chance for personal development, getting to know yourself and your needs.
- Draw conclusions: Analyze the relationship that ended and think about what you learned from it.
- Focus on the future: Set new goals for yourself and start making your dreams come true.
- Open up to new possibilities: Meet new people, travel, engage in new activities.
Remember that you are not alone. Many people have experienced the breakup and managed to rebuild their lives. You can do it too.
Additional tips
- Avoid contact with your ex-partner: At least at first, to give yourself time to cool down.
- Delete her photos and messages: Getting rid of “souvenirs” will help you forget faster.
- Don’t follow her on social media: This will only fuel your negative emotions.
- Don’t blame yourself: A breakup is usually the fault of both parties.
- Focus on your strengths: Remind yourself of the best thing about you.
Professional help
If you are having difficulty coping with a breakup, do not hesitate to seek help from a specialist. A psychotherapist will help you understand your emotions and develop strategies to cope with them.
Remark:
The above article is for informational purposes only and does not replace a visit to a specialist.
